Summer Knitting Project Complete

I began some special hats for some special boys.....twins born May 18th. Their mom is a great knitter so I decided to do a little more complicated pattern. Well, lets just say these were the two most difficult baby hats I have ever made. I must have frogged them a dozen times. I like to make baby items after the baby(s) is(are) born so I can think about and pray for the little one. Last night I was thinking, I guess these little guys needed some extra prayers since they were born a little early. There mom got a few prayers as well! :) I will post pictures of the hats once I give them away.

Natural Rhythm

I was recently talking with my aunt....b@#ching is more accurate. She made a comment that really added some perspective to the situation. She said, “you know, this season too will pass.” It was made in reference to my feelings of a strained relationship with a family member, but it also made me think about the time that I have right now with my children and as a stay at home mom. I have spent so much time sulking around this house this summer. It is time to get up and get going. Do something I love! Enjoy my children.

I have decided to go back to the natural rhythm that I discovered while on maternity leave with both of my children. I had my list of things I had to do: eat, feed baby, change baby, bathe, sleep. That was pretty much it. I just resigned myself to do this in whatever order felt natural and run over the list every evening to make sure all had been accomplished. Life was so simple yet also difficult, but I found as I listened to my body and did what felt like was what needed to be done at that moment, everything was completed. My list is longer now and includes things like laundry, picking up bedrooms, walking the dog, preparing meals, definitely a work out, and even blogging. I am going to revisit this pan and try to find a more natural rhythm and one that leaves time and energy for the things I want to do, reading, writing, and knitting. This season too will pass and I want to enjoy every moment along the way....well, maybe not every moment, but most of them.

Cousin Fun

Three years ago, August 30 2006, my precious nephews were born. I don't think my sister has slowed down sense. They were 8 weeks early and teeny tiny. Now.....
They are little balls of energy. We celebrated their birthday at Chuck E Cheese. The had a good time but Jesse thought that there were, "too many people." He was a little nervous.



The actual day of their birthday we enjoyed a beautiful day at the zoo and a cookout at their house. Then, on Tuesday we got to hang out with Finley while her mom and dad went out for Michelle's birthday dinner. We all had a really great time. Especially Fin. We are so blessed.

It's A Date!

A couple of friends and I, recognizing that we are all home alone a lot in the evenings, decided to start our own Art Club. I am so blessed to have so many talented friends that are willing to share their gifts with a major armature like myself. We decided to pick a medium and then work on it for a month or so and then pick something different.

Watercolor was up first. I have had some watercolor's that I had no idea what to do with. That is where Marcy came in. She was awesome. I selected a picture that I took in New Mexico of the bird that kept me company when mom died. Here are the results. What do you think?


I am pleased with it, but most of all I am thankful for the loving, talented friends that I have that are into the same things I am. This is therapy for all of us and I know that friendships will grow with every stroke of the brush.

As for the rest of my life, things are getting more and more back to normal. The boys are back in school and loving it. I have started working out again and I continue to write and blog. There are never enough hours in the day, but Life is Good.

Comic Fun

Last Halloween my oldest wanted to be Spiderman. We went out early and looked for a costume and found the perfect one. He was soooooo cute. One of our many celebrations involved going to Aunt Linda's for an afternoon party. I was taking random pictures and came away with this pose. (He had no idea this was what Spiderman did.....I think he had lost his balance.) I have been trying to figure out with to do with the picture.
Here is what I came up with!!!!
I love it! What do you think?

Dancing in the Rain

I have been joking back and forth with a cousin recently. She posted something on Twitter about with every rain their is a rainbow and I told her (after the summer I have had) there still is no sign of a rainbow. She commented that I should pray for sunshine. Well, heck, here in Oklahoma in August I am SICK of sunshine and there is still no rainbow in sight. Then I went to church on Sunday, and found the answer I had been looking for.

Our minister preached a sermon entitled "Learn to Dance in the Rain." In a nutshell, it was about how there will be storms in our lives and the gift that God gives us is the ability to not be afraid to dance in the rain. This got me thinking. I do know how to dance in the rain. This was much easier when I was a child and had less inhibition, but I still remember.....I think. Dancing in the rain as an adult is a little different.

1. I know people may talk. Why is she so happy today? Wasn't she crying her eyes out yesterday?

2. I feel guilty. How can I have a party for my child and invite all of our friends and my dad's new wife? What would mom think? Should I take her picture down for the party so people don't feel uncomfortable?

3. Eventually you are going to have to clean up. Not just dry off, but really clean up and get things back to "normal".


On the other hand, things are not all that different now.

It feels good to think about nothing but the fun you are having in the moment.

This is what I did this weekend as I had my son's 4th birthday party. I had been dreading in for weeks. How can I be in charge of such a fun event when I still feel so sad? God gives us the ability to dance in the rain. I was dancing and I didn't even realize it. I sent out e-mail invitations a couple of weeks in advance, but the preparation for the party did not start until the day before. It all worked out and now I know why.
We turned the backyard playground into a superhero hideout.
We made capes for all of the kids....24 to be exact.
We strung flags to wave over head.
We invited all of my favorite superhero's!

The cake was a bit of a disaster. I can cook, I can knit, I can design invitations, I can sew. I CANNOT Bake!!! But, it worked out. I just wrote, "we've been attacked!"

A perfect way to celebrate the best day of my entire life.....when I became a mom. Two days later he started preschool. What a big boy.

I am Back!

It has been two months, two weeks and two days since we found my mom. She died alone in her apartment at 57. This time has been a complete fog. I remember few of the details of everyday life but the memories of planning my mom's funeral and working out the business details post-mortem are forever going over and over in my head.

Well, life must go on and I am back. I am back from my three week hiatus in New Mexico and I am back to life as it is "after my mom died". Finally, I am back to blogging. This blog has been so cathartic over the past couple of years. I kept this as a sacred place where I talked about all of the wonderful things going on in my life.....outside of the hospital visits, sleepless nights, family arguments, and deep desperation of caring for a parent dealing with addiction. I was not sure I could or should continue after she died. Things are different now. I know how her story ends. There is no more hope that somehow she will pull out of the tailspin.


So, here is what I have decided. I will take it one day at a time (thanks AlAnon for the slogan). I will continue this blog and see how it goes. One of my favorite books to read with my children is We're Going on a Bear Hunt, by Michael Rosen. I love the part in each section that says, "you can't go over it, you can't go under it, we must go through it." This line has gone over and over in my head over the past several years and it is the approach I have decided to take in dealing with the overwhelming grief of losing my beautiful mother.

I'm Not Afraid!!!!