Monday, July 20, 2009

Menu For New Mexico Trip

I just finished the tentative menu for our time out at the Cabin. It features everything from Pork Wellington to Hamburgers. Also included.......Mexican Night (enchilada's and pasole), Chicken Salad, Steak Night, Fluffy Omlets, Tacos, BBQ Sandwiches, Chicken Lombardi to name a few. I am hungry already.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Back in the Studio

I finally got back into the studio today after a several week hiatus. I finally got all of my mom's paperwork out of the boxes and sorted and today was the first day I really enjoyed my studio. It was good to be back. I didn't do very much, but I got some new fabric ironed and my linen napkins ironed. Some of the fabric I ironed is for this Anna Maria Horner pattern that I recently purchased. And it is AMY BUTLER. I am so excited.

The fabric I chose is for the main outside and for the contrast.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Long, Hot Summer

I have missed my time posting, but every time I sit down to write I am overcome with emotion. When mom was still alive, things were so tough. We never knew what to expect or how a day would begin or end. Now, I know.....and I don't feel any better. I used to write for therapy. I started this blog as a place to create my own hopeful world at a time in my life that seemed so hopeless. I committed to only write about happy and upbeat things. My art, my children, photography, cooking.....all of the things that made me smile. Since then, mom has died and a huge part of me is missing. It just doesn't seem right to only post about the happy things. The things that seem happy to me probably don't seem so sacred to the readers.....if I have any readers left after this crazy time.

Here are the things that make me smile:
nights without the phone ringing off the hook
my children TALKING about Grandma P. not ASKING about Grandma P.
Fewer Nightmares
People telling me they are thinking about me instead of asking how mom is doing
knowing that my mom is finally enjoying some peace

The smiles still come through a vail of tears, but it is there. I am going to move on.....we are going to move on, but I will forever think of my mother at every turn. One day the good will outweigh the bad, but that is not going to happen on my time.

I can fight these feelings or trust that this is all a part of grief. I was listening to an interview with Elizabeth Edwards the other day. She said something that made a lot of sense to me. "You look at death differently when you have placed a child in the ground." I pray that I will never know that pain, but I know the sentiment. Things are just not so scary.

I have been listening to Joshua Kadison a lot lately. Every song on his Album, The Complete Venice Beach Sessions seem to tell a little more of my life's story right now. But, my favorite is Gratitude. I am grateful.....grateful for everyone for being so understanding when I am late or just mentally absent, grateful for my children, thankful for some quiet.

GRATITUDE
I hope you find what you're looking for
I hope you get all you desire
I hope that all your dreams come true
I hope they all lift you higher
Now all the visions I once had
of the way our lives would be
I can offer up at last
to the beauty that I see
So please forgive me, please forgive me
for thinking that I ever had
the secret to your holy mystery
please forgive me, please forgive me
for thinking that I ever had
the secret to your holy mystery
And can you feel my gratitude.....
can you feel my gratitude for you
can you feel my gratitude
feel it running deep
feel it running true
can you feel my gratitude....
feel my gratitude for you
can you feel my gratitude for you
It's such an esoteric work
the way you finally said goodbye
took so long for me to hear
through the noise of wondering why
'til I had no place left to run
and I finally had to face
what was really only me
imagining my fall from grace
So please forgive me, please forgive me
for thinking that I ever had the secret to your holy mystery
So please forgive me, please forgive me
for thinking that I ever had the secret to your holy mystery
And can you feel my gratitude.....
can you feel my gratitude for you
can you feel my gratitude
feel it running deep
feel it running true
can you feel my gratitude....
feel my gratitude for you

BTW....it is HOT. 106 degrees HOT!!!......for the second day in a row. I am ready for New Mexico and then Fall.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

La Fiesta Parade


You don't get more 4th of July than a small town parade and Las Vegas, NM knows how to do it right. They have an annual 4th of July celebration that is awesome. I have not been in a few years and this year did not disappoint. They had everything....loud music, candy in the streets, great floats, music, etc. View the whole set here then sit back and imagine the smell of a carnival and enchiladas mixed together. ;)