Tuesday, January 30, 2007

A Squinty Eyed Smile

The other day I saw my son make a face that I had never seen before. It was a squinty eyed smile that seemed a little out of context for what was going on. He did it again and I realized that this was a look that he has picked up from me….I caught myself doing it when I was thinking about how lucky I am to have such a special boy as my son….a look of endearment you might say. I was most surprised that I believe my 17 month old was using this same expression to convey the same message back to me.

This was a little blessing that I did not expect to get. Had my son not mimicked this expression back at me, I might not have ever realized I do this. This got me thinking, what else am I unconsciously or subconsciously teaching my children. What do my words, actions, and expressions teach my children about God, race, gender, education, money, love, marriage, etc.

I could go on and on about the way society carelessly goes about teaching children hate, cynicism, despair, resentment, etc. But I would rather focus on change and what I can do than the brokenness that is already rampant in our world.

I hope that I teach my children about a loving God and that God created us all equal, but how do you do this when we are all human with our own faults and stereotypes? I spend a lot of my time in self reflection and personal growth. I feel like this is one way to develop a sound and consistent value system for my boys. I still have a long way to go, but I hope that this is a start, and I spend time everyday being intentional about the way I live and the values I teach.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Begin the year with the Y

I have had two children in the past 17 months and my body is paying the price. I have gained more than 30 pounds and have lost all traces of muscle tone and control...if you know what I mean. I have always enjoyed the gym, but this year I need to embrace it with a whole new vigor. Nathan was 6 weeks old last Thursday, this means he can go to Child Watch and I am back in the Gym.

Today was my first official day back. It was fun and refreshing. I turned on my fun red ipod and hit the cardio room. I plan to get set up with a trainer on Thursday. We will see where it goes. Let the 30 pound countdown begin.

A New Year

January is always a time for me to look at my life and evaluate the direction I am going. 2007 is a year of a lot of change....I am not a big fan of change....Nathan was born, I "retired" from my job, I am staying home with my boys.

To adjust I have started knitting and sewing, I am recommitting myself to writing, and I think I will try to review a book every Friday...which means reading a book a week. These are not just changes and activities to pass the time. I want to be interesting! I would love to be published and I want to find myself amidst all of the confussion of a broken family and a broken world.

I want to be interesting for myself, my kids, my husbands, and my friends. I think interesting is creative, unique, intelligent, and full of experiences. I pride myself having a variety of friends all with unique personalities and lives. I need to do my part in developing a well rounded life for a well rounded world.

"Read This and Tell Me What it Says" is the title of a book of short stories. To tell you the truth, I enjoyed the title more than the book and it has always stayed with me. I think that it takes us looking back and the help of others to see our true selves. That is what this blog is inteded to do.