Thursday, December 3, 2009

The Cobbler's Children -- A Christmas Lament

This has been a week of deep thought and contemplation. I have laid awake, more than once, thinking about what I am supposed to be doing with this very valuable time of staying home with my young children. I am not one to sit back and just relish the moments as they happen, although I wish I had a little more of this in me. However, I do realize on a daily basis that each moment with my children at this formative age is so important and PRICELESS. (Even the moment yesterday when the youngest batted the glass ball ornament across the church bookstore in front of a good dozen people.)

I have filled my time with some blogging, painting, knitting, and playing with the boys. But, a good chunk of my time has been spent serving on some mission oriented boards, and doing church work. This week was frustrating to say the least. I realized that I had spent hours of time cutting out ornaments that went unused and the board that I sit on has canceled a program (well, not just any program, but my first baby....Project Transformation) for one of two reasons....perhaps both.
1. They can't find anyone to commit to be the Site Coordinator
2. They don't feel like PT understands their African American culture

What is particularly upsetting to me about both of these situations is the lack of cooperative work at the detriment to people in our community who really need the services and ministry offered by each group. Communication is hard. It is hard for everyone, but for some reason it seems particularly challenging when we deal with social and spiritual matters. I guess people are just too afraid they are going to hurt someone's feelings. Well, my feelings have been hurt. I am at a point in my life where my time is my most valuable commodity and it is being misused.

Fast forward to this morning. I am working out, listening to the CMP and the following quote comes up in her opening monologue.

"The cobbler's children have no shoes."

I have been so busy working on these projects/causes and losing sleep thinking about the children that will not have the literacy program their parents have come to count on that I didn't realize all of the time I was taking from my own children. It has been months since we went to the library, weeks since we went to the zoo, and days since I last sat down just to read a book outside of bedtime.

So, where am I now. I am not rethinking my participation in these groups, but I am realigning my priorities. I am going to spend the next few weeks thinking about how I can help facilitate better communication and a mutual understanding with the groups that I am currently working with...starting with helping people understand that when I am not with my children my time is precious and it will be respected or they will need to find someone else to do what they need.

I also have some big ideas about how to use the skills and interest I have developed with blogging and podcasting. I think it is going to involve some revamping an old site. Stay tuned. to pick up my wild little men.

Blessings and thanks for listening to me ramble.

1 comment:

creativemom said...

Sounds interesting! Staying tuned, I am! We missed you all at our party. Love to the Curran Family!